Poems

Poetry Portfolio

When words begin to swirl inside my head, the result is poetry. Each poem is an expression of my soul. Sometimes, its intense and sometimes its sorrowful. Every time, it is from experience. Enjoy exploring my mind and soul.

Emotional Demons

Deep inside is where they hide

They never go away

From time to time you come to find

They really like to play

They twist and turn inside your mind

While you try to heal

They feed upon your deepest cries

And go in for the kill

To win the war inside your soul

You must not lose your way

Just when they think they have you cornered

Just look at them and pray

Colors

The world is colored so brightly

Of every shade and hue

If you were the artist

What could you do

With colors of the rainbow

You'd paint the grey skies blue

You'd wipe away the tears we shed

And love would be pursued

People would all be happy

All troubles would melt away

The fact we face is that underneath colors

There's always some decay

So don't frown when colors are dark

From death comes something new

Appreciate all the colors

No matter how dark the view

Dreams

What did I do to get here

It seems so far away

From everything I use to know

To what I know today

Once I was encompassed

By hopes and dreams to come

But now the dreams are nightmares

The devil has his fun

Reality is different

When you face what you've been through

I didn't think I'd be here

Truth is we never do

The Void

There's an emptiness inside me

I try to full the hole

With sex and drugs and worldly things

And even things I stole

These things and people won't last for long

They're not what we should seek

The vacancy within my soul

Appears to make me weak

Why does a touch or caring word

Seem to fill the void

Should I search inside myself

I may find truths untold

Narcissistic

I really didn't do it

How could you be so cold

The truth is you weren't happy with you

So I was to be told

I was never good enough

I always got things wrong

Everything I tried to do

Was my fault all along

You never saw your faults

I was always put on me

Reality must be hard for you

Now that I'm finally free

Broken Promises

Delayed is my progression

From who I was before

Before the broken promises

And Slamming of the doors

Those doors were opportunities

To finally get it right

To have a love worth keeping

And holding every night

The many chances we had

We're meant for us as one

Though I found time after time

I was all alone

He said he wanted forever

I bared my soul to him

But the offer came with a catch

Id never be happy again

Shame

Shame on me for speaking my mind

Shame on me for stating the truth

Why can't we just have the conversation

What will this teach our youth

What is our purpose if not to teach

These lessons we learn in life

Cann't we share wisdom we gain

From all our woes and strife

I'm not saying to forget the past

Or ignore the heartache and pain

I just think we should rise above

Let the Era of compassion reign

I don't like being ignored by others

It' cuts me down to the bone

Gather around and talk about me

Go ahead, I'm already alone

So shame on me for speaking my mind

For expressing my thoughts to you

Shame on me for ever assuming

My feelings matter too

Independence vs Freedom

Independence is based on perspective

But are we really free?

Free from being controlled or bullied

By the leaders in our country

We’re told to learn our laws

The rules of how to live

Obey the laws, make your own way

Teach others how to give

The theory sounds productive

An upgrade from the past

Human err is inevitable

Fuck up and be harassed

You’re only free till you make a mistake

That’s when you change your view

Of what freedom is in this day and age

So just how free are you?

Ability vs Talent

Our bodies and minds are all different

No two are the same

So many differences on a molecular level

How can one achieve fame

Born with abilities and talents

We can do great things

Driven by passion and momentum

That’s when we live like kings

Many people are gifted with abilities

Things they are capable of

Without the drive to make it through

Push always comes to shove

Fleeting Time

It seems like only yesterday

I was just a kid

Playing with cars and eating mud

Just like my cousins did

I think back on the memories

Of how things use to be

Growing up we were left alone

For why, we couldn't see

I didn't see your struggles

You faced them all with grace

You kept your chin up through it all

And hid your tear stained face

I'm sorry that I left you

I know it was so cold

I ran away without a thought

How could I be so bold

My kids and I all suffered

I know it's all my fault

I left behind what made me strong

Forgot what I was taught

I blamed you for my problems

Excuses came with ease

I broke your heart and never knew

How weak it made your knees

Mother please forgive me

I see the toll it took

I see the pain of losing me

In every little look

We don't have too much longer

To make up for lost time

The truth is what I did to you

Should've been a crime

Karma

What's up with your confusion

I tried to make it clear

I woke up in that moment

I no longer live in fear

I'm not scared of anything

Least of all a man

Who thinks he holds my heart and soul

After he hits me again

The wounds were barely visible

I never had a stitch

I got knocked down by someone

Who'd be dead without this bitch

Headbutt me! I won't flinch

Please hit me one more time

Although I merely walked away

It doesn't void the crime

There were times I thought that I

May never get get out of bed

My insides bruised and left no mark

I wished that I was dead

I prayed to God what have I done

He said "You lost your way

I have a plan for you my child

You had a price to pay."

A lesson learned is a lesson kept

Or so they use to say

Well Karma's a bitch and God is good

So I am blessed today

Empty Shell

What happened to you baby

That wasn't there before

That bruise right there above your thigh

It hurts me to the core

I'm sorry that you're angry

What did I do today

How can you place the blame on me

You could've walked away

Instead you stayed right with me

Words cut me like a knife

Love for myself is long gone now

Yes I'll be your wife

You said I'd never find

Someone that loves like you

I heard your words and made them mine

That's when you change my view

I was no longer Misty

I was an empty shell

Looking back I realized

I took myself to Hell

The Distance Kills Me

To My Children...

I wish I knew how far

There was from me to you

From where I am in my life

To when we're stuck like glue

I isolated us all

I didn't even think

That later on when life should be good

That we'd all need a shrink

Dear daughter I beg forgiveness

For all you had to see

For putting you down and shutting the door

For not showing you the key

I left you alone to wonder

If you were any good

Good for anyone to bother with

After I ripped you from your blood

My son I only hope

One day you will return

That you stay safe till you get here

Till then my stomach churns

Dear absent child of mine

I know I did you wrong

I taught you who the bad guys were

But baby, I was wrong

The heroes in our story

Were right here the whole time

Villainous things forced in my head

Caused me to do the crime

It's criminal how I let

Just anyone take away

My reasons to stand up for you

And the place we should've stayed

It's my fault that I lost

The bond with my own kids

If only I could change the past

I'd have saved us from the abyss

I'm sorry and I love you both bunches...

Love Mom

My View of You

My dear you are perfect so keep fighting those demons...

Baby girl why can't you see

You are so much more

Than anything they said you were

While you laid there on the floor

It's bullshit, you aren't ugly

And fat?! That don't make sense

While you put yourself down some more

You steal your own defense

Who's there when you get lonely

Who's there when you are stressed

Look up and see that every day

Feel God and know you're blessed

You are wonderfully awesome

Beauty with some to spare

The spirit of an angel

A heart that shows you care

Having people to lean on

Is wonderful at times

But when it comes to loving you

You're the one that shines.

My Love

I hear my lover calling

Her voice just makes me weak

The siren song she sings to me

She promises what I seek

I crave the grit of sand

The friction between my toes

The salty taste of oceanic air

The smells that tickle my nose

Her force pulls me closer

To the waves she sends to me

The ebb and flow of her tides

Tell me I'm really free

Her beauty leaves me breathless

I love to watch her waves

She seduce all my senses

I know my soul she'll save

We were brought together

By people that understand

I needed to meet this epic love

I never needed a man

Train Wreck

That moment that happens

In the blink of an eye

The level of uncertainty

Before everyone dies

That's what I feel

From morning to night

When sober reality

Grabs me too tight

I hop aboard

The Crazy Express

And try to escape

My current stress

That shit just keeps coming

Staying right on my tail

If I can't out run it

I'm doomed to fail

I dare not allow

Another soul aboard

The price that I paid

You cannot afford

I paid for my seat

With what had remained

The rest of my life

I'll be forever chained

Caution

She's damaged and dangerous

Proceed with caution

Protect yourself from whiplash

There's no other option

She know what she wants

And just how to get it

The problem she faces is

She has to stick with it

She has to stand still

Alone with her thoughts

Pick out the lessons

These memories taught

While she's healing

She may reach out

Looking for company

In someone who's stout

Connecting with her

May be a challenge but

When she shows up

This bitch is a savage

She's sweet and salty

All rolled in one

If you have a taste

She'll come undone

Don't try to tame her

If you ever get close

She runs from fear

While surrounded by ghosts

Casualties

I ask my God."What can I do

To stop the casualties.

I'm like a tsunami at maximum speed

Disrupting everyone's peace

I'm not sure what I have to do

To gain control of myself

I need some help, oh Lord, dear God

Please don't let me fail."

While I wait for God to answer

I do the best I can

I try my best and pray for the rest

Refusing to fall, I stand

Please son...

I use to call you David Ray

You didn't mind before

You changed your name, I understand

I'll call you this no more

Instead, I'll call you Son

Simply for the fact

No matter what you do in life

You can't change that pact

I promised you the day we met

I loved you more than life

It holds true now but thank your sister

Without her too, I'd use my knife

I'd like to get the chance

To see you one more time

I made you leave for your own sake

But I finally made the climb

I climbed the uphill battle

I'm fighting the war within my spirit

I've gained control of my manic brain

Just know that I will win it

I'm sorry for the past

And how it all went down

I didn't even know myself

But this is what I've found

When the past has clouded your view

Nothing is as it appears to be

Just focus on now and what we have left

Please son, come home to me

Blessings

Blessings are all around us

Happiness is all we need

What I've come to find

Is they grow from little seeds

The seeds we sow ourselves

Are in the efforts we make

The time we take to learn from life

Will rid weeds like a rake

Weeds are life experiences

We have to live to learn

But once we learn the toxic traits

The tiller blades must turn

Weed out the bad influences

Transplant if you must

But always find rich soil

Life can't grow from dust

To sprout into a seedling

You must protect your seed

To protect ourselves from pests

A wall is what we need

Be smart about what you feed it

Keep it in the light

You'll never grow in darkness

Water it every night

Blessing bloom in little moments

If you get what you need

Give yourself a chance to grow

Get yourself a creed

Homeless

I wish that you could understand

What it means to say

It's getting cold, I can't go on

I have no place to stay

There is no place that I can rest

I'm always on the move

I just need some solace here

I shouldn't have to prove

I am not a druggie bum

Although you'll never see

I could do so much more

With help and charity

I'm not lazy, I love to work

I just can't find a ride

No one can help from here to there

With an address city wide

The shelters can be a blessing

A place to lay your head

You'll get some food and charge your phone

Or be abused instead

Homelessness is scary

It ravages your life

Your soul exposed left to be judged

It cuts just like a knife

It's sad, blah blah I know

But don't you pity me

I found my strength and made it out

It's the prayers that set me free

Nothing’s Fair in Love, Fear and Hormones…

From zero to sixty in the blink of an eye

The twisters of emotions dare to defy

The laws and limits of what I can bear

From thankful and blessed to total despair

I made it this far despite my affliction

Of acting without thinking and giving in to addiction

What if my crazy is too hard to endure

What if one day he walks out the door

I know the thoughts swirling around

Are ghosts of the past that think I’ll lie down

I have a habit of thinking the worst

Like everything I touch seems to be cursed

I have to tell myself every day

That Jesus promised me I’ll be ok

I pick up my fears and give them to Jesus

That’s when the pain of living life eases

Thank you Jesus

Amen

Focus

I struggle with it every day

The pressure that I feel

To get things done and still have time

To bow my head and kneel

In Jesus's name I pray

For help to make ends meet

I will not fold, instead I lay

My troubles at his feet

I stand up straight and lift my head

To focus on the Lord

I close my eyes and feel God's love

And THAT is the reward

AMEN

Locked Up

As you sit beside yourself

What else can you do

You sit and wait for time to pass

So why not look for clues

Take a look back on your life

How did you end up here

It's not your first time being locked up

Perhaps, change your career

Hustling ain't easy

Although you found a way

To stay alive despite it all

But Sis, it's this I pray

I pray you find your center

The little light inside

Embrace it and remind yourself

To let God be your guide

The road ahead is tough

You must continue the climb

But EVERY time you start to stress

Pray just one more time

I love you Sissy...

Dear Child

I want to tell my inner child

I wish that I could see

The path to take to get her out

Is hidden well for me

I feel the sadness seeping in

The hopelessness she feels

Trapped in hell until the day

I make good on our deals

I told her I would fix it

The error of my ways

I let her down so many times

So all she does is pray

She prays that I will overcome

The things that she went through

So maybe when the thoughts come back

I'll know just what to do

I really got to figure out

How to see the pain

And not get lost in memories

So I can break the chain

I'm chained to intrusive thoughts

I'm battered by my fear

Stuck in trauma that hurt me so

I wish I'd disappear

If I can leave the sorrow

In my history

I'll break the chains that hold me back

And finally set her free

I'm Sorry

I see that look upon your face

That tells me your in pain

I hurt you with these words of mine

Your joy went down the drain

I wish I had a filter

Between my brain and mouth

The careless words that hurt you so

Would never have come out

I prayed so hard to get here

To have someone like you

I don't know what to do or say

That won't get misconstrued

I pray for you to understand

My love for you is deep

I hope to see your joy come back

Til then, my love, I weep.

My Passion For Christ

I long to know you better

To pray to see your face

I praise your name to tell the world

The beauty of your grace

Although I've sinned against you

And wished your children pain

For hurting me and planting hate

So deep within my brain

You didn't grant my wishes

To show them what they did

Instead you opened up my eyes

To show ME the anointed

This kindness you have shown me

It casts away the hate

It leaves me loving everyone

And now I patiently wait

I wait for my next lesson

A chance to use my past

To teach the world how to forgive

A test I finally I passed

The more I learn about you

The more I fall in love

With the thought that one day soon

We'll join you up above